today we had a buffet lunch at shang makati and oh my god i kinda wish i just had three trips to the japanese buffet table instead of one and instead of filling myself up with naam and curry cos right now im having serious sushi-related guilt and it’s not from eating too much, it’s from not eating enough when i could have eaten three plates and that’s the worst kind of sushi guilt :( sometime in the future i will have to go on an all you can eat sushi meal to make it up to myself.
during dessert (three mini cake squares, a bite of chocolate pudding, coffee, and melon bites with chocolate) i managed to convince everyone to come home with us to stay around in alabang while my brother and i wait for our mom and to come home with us to laguna to sleep so now my three cousins are on my bed :>
i bought a really nice, cheap sleeveless shirt that i’m wearing tomorrow to one of our cousins’ going away party. he’s going to work in dubai :) so im going with my cousins as they go back to QC and this time im the one sleeping over (probably after a few drinks).
and my brother found a Cake trucker cap in the same store (artwork. LOVE artwork, man) and both items are REALLY cheap for their coolness and quality.
love unplanned stuff like this.
i didn’t bring my camera so no food photos but i kinda like it this way. had to walk in heels anyway, wouldnt really have the finesse.
i’ve felt bad these few days because 1) i still can’t graduate 2) didn’t get accepted in my first job interview ..but right now i’m reminded of how nice it is to still be a jobless student, to still be your parents’ kid, to have sem break and time to drink and have fun, to have sleepovers with your cousins, and to be given some fun-money when your mom drops you off at the mall so you can have some coffee or cheap trinkets if you like. i’ve always guilt-tripped myself about still being dependent at this age, but now that i can say i have experienced trying my best and it just didn’t really work for me yet, i can say “why not enjoy it while i’m still at this stage?” i’m not imposing anything on anyone, and i show my gratitude and love to my mom when i can. i really don’t have any pride left to defend, and i’m not putting up a front pretending i’m independent and my mom is neglectful. im still sending out CV’s, and fully dedicated to getting my prof to approve me. so why should i make myself suffer?
I may do it two years late, and not with flying colours, but I will graduate.
and hopefully earn a living eventually.
there might be visa problems and money problems and work problems and things might not work out as i’d like, like how it happened with everything lately. but i know i’ll be okay. cos i’m okay now. i was dragged all muddy across the proverbial mud of life in the span of a couple of months and here i am, feeling okay.
i just wanted to write it here cos this is my slow, self-centered tumb and i want to remember this :)