1. I just wanted to make sure I marked this day…
We haven’t been much for having deep reflective conversations in real life, even if we do a lot of it in writing, I guess it’s just felt more natural thus far to do funner stuff while together, and to be silly and whatnot. But today we finally get such a moment; basically talking about our near future and finally living together, and as we were both sleepy, it drifted towards some hard honesty on my part and I ended up laying out my vulnerabilities and insecurities and he quickly shooed them away by reacting adorably, genuinely surprised that I thought less of myself than what he apparently saw in me… It wasn’t cheesy or dramatic or anything like that, we were laughing most of the time and were less than eloquent about it to put it lightly, but the clumsiness of our words reassured me that it was a sincere moment. I remember one point, where he was describing how unlikely it is that he’ll find someone he likes the way he likes me, and me saying something along the lines of you’re like, saying I’m exceptional which I genuinely meant as a way of saying I’m just a regular person and it’s not unlikely that there are others smarter or funnier, and definitely there are a lot who are more attractive than I am, and the way he looked at me, completely bewildered, and telling me it’s exactly what he was trying to say caught me completely off guard. Tears welled up at one point, breaking through our jokes and conversation, and he was like, aw no don’t cry! telling me he still panics and feels flustered when I cry, which I found really touching too, and just put a couple more tears out there, which made us laugh. But I assured him that I was just very moved and pleasantly surprised.. He isn’t really a smooth talker, and it’s at rare moments like this, where he gets to say such reassuring, wonderful, loving things that I most appreciate that fact. He just says what he means and means what he says. And I like what I’m hearing :)

    I just wanted to make sure I marked this day…

    We haven’t been much for having deep reflective conversations in real life, even if we do a lot of it in writing, I guess it’s just felt more natural thus far to do funner stuff while together, and to be silly and whatnot. But today we finally get such a moment; basically talking about our near future and finally living together, and as we were both sleepy, it drifted towards some hard honesty on my part and I ended up laying out my vulnerabilities and insecurities and he quickly shooed them away by reacting adorably, genuinely surprised that I thought less of myself than what he apparently saw in me… It wasn’t cheesy or dramatic or anything like that, we were laughing most of the time and were less than eloquent about it to put it lightly, but the clumsiness of our words reassured me that it was a sincere moment. I remember one point, where he was describing how unlikely it is that he’ll find someone he likes the way he likes me, and me saying something along the lines of you’re like, saying I’m exceptional which I genuinely meant as a way of saying I’m just a regular person and it’s not unlikely that there are others smarter or funnier, and definitely there are a lot who are more attractive than I am, and the way he looked at me, completely bewildered, and telling me it’s exactly what he was trying to say caught me completely off guard. Tears welled up at one point, breaking through our jokes and conversation, and he was like, aw no don’t cry! telling me he still panics and feels flustered when I cry, which I found really touching too, and just put a couple more tears out there, which made us laugh. But I assured him that I was just very moved and pleasantly surprised.. He isn’t really a smooth talker, and it’s at rare moments like this, where he gets to say such reassuring, wonderful, loving things that I most appreciate that fact. He just says what he means and means what he says. And I like what I’m hearing :)

  2. i had the best bath just now.. really happy with this foaming bath i just got from m&s, it froths super easily and smells lovely in the water. i tried to meditate because i’ve decided to take that up on the regular but i’m not sure it was successful. it just felt like relaxing to me. i trust that with practice, i might experience the flow state of mind easier during sessions.
i tHink i’m doing really well lately. i’ve been doing near the best that i can, and coping relatively well with shitty circumstances, and i’m getting better at appreciating the little things, like i said in that last blogpost (kind of. i barely say anything really, i just broke into song. written.. song.)…
i’m learning that appreciating the little things isn’t as passive as i once thought. we have a choice to actively enhance the experience of appreciation. i do this by taking pictures, arranging and organizing things, and making my whole experience of life be more.. palatable to my senses… it’s not just a matter of ”why not” at this point, but an actual effective strategy towards happiness. my efforts in doing that combined with the efforts i’m taking towards being healthier in general should make me feel more and more well-rounded as a human being this year.
for that i’m grateful.

    i had the best bath just now.. really happy with this foaming bath i just got from m&s, it froths super easily and smells lovely in the water. i tried to meditate because i’ve decided to take that up on the regular but i’m not sure it was successful. it just felt like relaxing to me. i trust that with practice, i might experience the flow state of mind easier during sessions.

    i tHink i’m doing really well lately. i’ve been doing near the best that i can, and coping relatively well with shitty circumstances, and i’m getting better at appreciating the little things, like i said in that last blogpost (kind of. i barely say anything really, i just broke into song. written.. song.)…

    i’m learning that appreciating the little things isn’t as passive as i once thought. we have a choice to actively enhance the experience of appreciation. i do this by taking pictures, arranging and organizing things, and making my whole experience of life be more.. palatable to my senses… it’s not just a matter of ”why not” at this point, but an actual effective strategy towards happiness. my efforts in doing that combined with the efforts i’m taking towards being healthier in general should make me feel more and more well-rounded as a human being this year.

    for that i’m grateful.

  3. Thought of the day:
Having fun need not be a passive thing. Take fun. Create fun. Have it on purpose.

    Thought of the day:

    Having fun need not be a passive thing. Take fun. Create fun. Have it on purpose.

  4. My birthday movie night

    My birthday movie night

  5. apple-flavoured green gummy soldiers

    apple-flavoured green gummy soldiers

  6. blueberry jellybeans, raspberry and blackberry gummies, soldier gummies

    blueberry jellybeans, raspberry and blackberry gummies, soldier gummies

  7. Chocolate covered maltballs, raspberries and salted caramels.

    Chocolate covered maltballs, raspberries and salted caramels.

  8. Halloween pictures from when I was a little kid makes me happy.
But at the same time I can’t help but wish we could go back sometime.

    Halloween pictures from when I was a little kid makes me happy.

    But at the same time I can’t help but wish we could go back sometime.

  9. I drew a thing from a thing.

    first attempt at drawing anatomically accurate face of a real person with just a gelpen!! no room for mistakes. it was stressful but i needed to learn to let go a little bit so i can art more.

    took too many liberties and ended up turning my friend into metal

    I king midas-ed. oopsies :(

    it was a bad idea to draw that turtle, spun me out of control! should have been just as wild with his hair though. oh well, i can still do it on the paper itself :D

    i need to do this more often.

  10. graduating today :)

    graduating today :)

  11. [time] will come and we’ll find our way to each other, for life

    and i will eventually get used to the beauty of your nearness

    the comfort of the consistency

    watering down the obsession i have for you

    to pin-sized lumps in warm, home-style, soul food, soup

    trickling down, warming the lips, the throat, pooling at the pit of the chest

    dispersing heat that momentarily allows me to feel my insides

    sudden awareness

    of a space that’s always been there

    now inhabited

    coming alive

    by a fist-sized trophy future

    once perceived, [now] ingested

    and made true on the inside.

  12. these are the kinds of days where two showers are necessary

    and sometimes not even enough
    when you wonder if you’ve been eating more than your share
    because you’ve bloated, and then you realise it’s the heat
    and that you’re expanding
    you’re pieces of matter after all,
    even though sometimes you forget
    it’s not pretty
    to be in between two sizes
    you’ve been here before
    a nine year old
    feeling sexless and free
    only to come home to a mother telling you 
    that you need to wear something under your shirt
    because your breasts betray the youth 
    that has been everything you knew
    up to that point
    and here you are again
    wondering about the next shape you’ll take
    it’s days like these where you try to escape your body
    sleeping more often than usual
    mind racing, impossible to pin down
    to the one task you know you need to commit to
    if you’re ever to leave this phase
    you’re hot, molten metal
    but your final form is still
    peaceful, purposeful
    solid enough to permeate 
    and to leave a mark.
    the sun is testing you
    and there is no way out of the heat
    for now
    to be enlightened, is to be lit
    bright enough
    to see through the shadow of the discomfort
    emanating from the same source
  13. oecologia:

“In March, due to a natural phenomenon, Siberia’s Lake Baikal is particularly amazing to photograph. The temperature, wind and sun cause the ice crust to crack and form beautiful turquoise blocks or ice hummocks on the lake’s surface.”
Photograph by Alex El Barto.

    oecologia:

    “In March, due to a natural phenomenon, Siberia’s Lake Baikal is particularly amazing to photograph. The temperature, wind and sun cause the ice crust to crack and form beautiful turquoise blocks or ice hummocks on the lake’s surface.”

    Photograph by Alex El Barto.

    Reblogged from: pisceswitch
  14. myidealhome:


those girly accents (via KiDS ROOm / FAIRY LIGHTS)

    myidealhome:

    Reblogged from: myidealhome
  15. lifeofplaywithdiannadavid:

March 12, 2013
Today I decided to start speaking my truth. So, as manifestation has it, a (not so surprising) email surprised me in FB inbox. It was my niece who is a young adult now had insisted I continue my blog because she always found them inspiring. It was a nudge from the Universe. And so this is so…
I was quite hesitant to start speaking online. In fact, the cyber world was something I was afraid of. After an eye-opening discussion with some dear friends who said, all I see you do is post your events, classes and performances, I don’t even know who you are. People online now a days create relationships, you’re not just a company blasting sales and ads all over the place, you’re a person. 
So Hello Cyber World…Nice to Meet you…I guess this is me…
So, in the later parts of last year I went on an internal search. I mean, if I wanted to stay up to date with the evolving times, be a contributor to the world, and be authentic, I definitely had some work to do. Time to start shedding some skin here baby. They said the world was going to end December 21, I think my new world just started then…as it did for everyone I guess. 
By the end of this month I’ll be reaching my 6th month of devotion to yet again, understanding my new truths. Even more so, when I pulled out my calculator, at the end of March, I will be reaching my 10th year anniversary from quitting my engineering job. Holy MFG! Yah!
Looking back at some of the things that have helped me in this journey, I wanted to share with you some of the things I’ve learned. 
LIFE LESSON #1
ACCEPTANCE OF TODAY: In life we are either moving towards or moving away from something. Like this picture. I left engineering to go towards a dream to perform, teach and affect lives as well as towards my deeper understanding of my humanness to live in full acceptance with my sexuality.I was also moving away from a life of expectation, rules, and status quo challenges of what ‘success’ was suppose to look like.
Today, I can finally see that the journey towards success doesn’t look the same across the board.  It wasn’t linear. It was a dot. A spot, a point. With my very logical mind, this was a hard one to grasp. I struggled with placing a label on me so that I could define an identity. Am I just a Hip Hop Dancer, an engineer, nope, how about a performing artist, what kind of artist, not a poor one, someone who makes a lot of money…is that possible?
The truest acceptance of success is the truest acceptance of where you are today, what you believe in today, what you are feeling today. Not right, wrong, good or bad, it is exactly what it is. That is the only truth that you know, and nothing else. So when we can live truly in the moment of full appreciation of what is happening right now, it will give us the answers to which direction we so choose to go from here.  It’s like playing. You get lost in the moment, you love every moment of it, you’re fully engaged and you’re perfectly in the right place at the right time…or not and you laugh about it. 
Stay tuned for more Life Lessons. Thank you Bea for inspiring me to stay connected and share my story. And so it shall.


you’re more than welcome tita D. as always, very inspiring writing and resonates with truths i hold dear in my soul but tend to forget often. this is something the internet helps a lot with, to keep us “close” and in touch with people who ignite our flames, fellow enlightened coals that help us burn brighter for longer when we stay together :D 
i start a lot of sentences with “i wish…” .. i tried to change this by saying “i will” instead, but i’m in the stage where that’s still a bit daunting and it still makes me freeze in my anxiety… your post today reminds me that it’s  only as simple as saying “I am..”
This is where/who/what I am, and I will choose to cherish and be happy with it. :)

    lifeofplaywithdiannadavid:

    March 12, 2013

    Today I decided to start speaking my truth. So, as manifestation has it, a (not so surprising) email surprised me in FB inbox. It was my niece who is a young adult now had insisted I continue my blog because she always found them inspiring. It was a nudge from the Universe. And so this is so…

    I was quite hesitant to start speaking online. In fact, the cyber world was something I was afraid of. After an eye-opening discussion with some dear friends who said, all I see you do is post your events, classes and performances, I don’t even know who you are. People online now a days create relationships, you’re not just a company blasting sales and ads all over the place, you’re a person. 

    So Hello Cyber World…Nice to Meet you…I guess this is me…

    So, in the later parts of last year I went on an internal search. I mean, if I wanted to stay up to date with the evolving times, be a contributor to the world, and be authentic, I definitely had some work to do. Time to start shedding some skin here baby. They said the world was going to end December 21, I think my new world just started then…as it did for everyone I guess. 

    By the end of this month I’ll be reaching my 6th month of devotion to yet again, understanding my new truths. Even more so, when I pulled out my calculator, at the end of March, I will be reaching my 10th year anniversary from quitting my engineering job. Holy MFG! Yah!

    Looking back at some of the things that have helped me in this journey, I wanted to share with you some of the things I’ve learned. 

    LIFE LESSON #1

    ACCEPTANCE OF TODAY: In life we are either moving towards or moving away from something. Like this picture. I left engineering to go towards a dream to perform, teach and affect lives as well as towards my deeper understanding of my humanness to live in full acceptance with my sexuality.I was also moving away from a life of expectation, rules, and status quo challenges of what ‘success’ was suppose to look like.

    Today, I can finally see that the journey towards success doesn’t look the same across the board.  It wasn’t linear. It was a dot. A spot, a point. With my very logical mind, this was a hard one to grasp. I struggled with placing a label on me so that I could define an identity. Am I just a Hip Hop Dancer, an engineer, nope, how about a performing artist, what kind of artist, not a poor one, someone who makes a lot of money…is that possible?

    The truest acceptance of success is the truest acceptance of where you are today, what you believe in today, what you are feeling today. Not right, wrong, good or bad, it is exactly what it is. That is the only truth that you know, and nothing else. So when we can live truly in the moment of full appreciation of what is happening right now, it will give us the answers to which direction we so choose to go from here.  It’s like playing. You get lost in the moment, you love every moment of it, you’re fully engaged and you’re perfectly in the right place at the right time…or not and you laugh about it. 

    Stay tuned for more Life Lessons. Thank you Bea for inspiring me to stay connected and share my story. And so it shall.

    you’re more than welcome tita D. as always, very inspiring writing and resonates with truths i hold dear in my soul but tend to forget often. this is something the internet helps a lot with, to keep us “close” and in touch with people who ignite our flames, fellow enlightened coals that help us burn brighter for longer when we stay together :D 

    i start a lot of sentences with “i wish…” .. i tried to change this by saying “i will” instead, but i’m in the stage where that’s still a bit daunting and it still makes me freeze in my anxiety… your post today reminds me that it’s  only as simple as saying “I am..”

    This is where/who/what I am, and I will choose to cherish and be happy with it. :)

    Reblogged from: lifeofdesignwithdiannadavid

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